Camelot and the Clock Tower Dilemma
by CandySmile
Summary: Merlin and Arthur face a life-changing dilemma. My first fanfic. Please review. PLEASE! The more reviews, the faster I aim to update! By the way: no slash! Sorry, I don't write  that.
1. A Dilemma of Sorts

_Arthur, Merlin, (mayyybe Morgana), and the Clock Tower Dilemma_

_ A Camelot Comedy_

Perhaps the weirdest day in all of the history of Camelot (so far), is the day in which the charming, beautiful, Prince Arthur, and his simple-minded (ahem, stupid), servant boy Merlin were faced with a life-changing dilemma: the town square clock tower. You see, this clock tower had been standing strong at the heart of Camelot for years… no matter how many members of the generations of royal persons ruling the kingdom hated it. Every time they brought in the strongest clock tower fellers, the citizens of the kingdom put up a protest. They made banners, gave out fliers, and even got the town crier to spread the word to neighboring kingdoms. They even created a Citizens Help Protect the Town Square Clock Tower from Annoying, Mean, Monument-Destroying, and Dragon Butt-Like Rulers of the Glorious Kingdom of Camelot Day. Yup…Every February 29th. Now, this seemed like once in a blue moon to the towns folk, but in the deep, cold chasms of the rulers' souls, the mere thought of Citizens Help Protect the Town Square Clock Tower from Annoying, Mean, Monument-Destroying, and Dragon Butt-Like Rulers of the Glorious Kingdom of Camelot Day drove fear into their hearts.

Our story begins on a bright, sunny, lovely day, much like the stunning Prince Arthur himself, who, at the moment was just being woken up from a royal siesta by his annoying, blunt, pig-headed, stubborn, worrisome, badly-dressed man-servant, otherwise known as 'Merlin'. Angry at being woken up at a moderately humane hour of the late morning, Arthur exploded at Dopey…err…Merlin in a fit of rage.

"What in the HECK do you think you are doing, you idiot!" screamed the crown prince; startled awake, who, as a matter of fact, looked quite dashing when he was irritated.

"I…I…was…" stammered the flustered servant.

"No, don't speak. I have a VERY important matter to attend to. Today is the day in which I must decide what my plan, as the crown prince of Camelot, is to do about the clock tower. And, also, I just had a strange dream about the curse of technology." declared Arthur poetically.

"Umm, what's a 'technology', sir? Some kind of beast? A fatal disease?" asked Merlin, intrigued and relieved to be back in a kind of-sort of-almost-_maybe_ friendship level with the prince.

"I have no clue…" answered Arthur thoughtfully, "Anyway, get to work, and come on, then! Polish my armor, buff my boots, oil my sword-belt, sterilize my…"

Merlin stood there and listened to Arthur's endless list of chores, which he would probably spend about an hour on, at most. Why? Because the seemingly idiotic servant had a secret that he had to keep from everyone, even his master, Arthur: he wielded magic. (I know, EXTREMELY hard to believe, but it was true.)

At about that same time, Morgana, Uther's "loving ward" (HA! Loving ward my butt!), was concocting another evil plan to sabotage Uther, Arthur, Merlin, Gwen, Gaius, probably Lancelot, maybe also Gawaine, and she'd probably exterminate anyone in her way… so, basically the WHOLE kingdom. Her extremely devious plan this time was to get the townsfolk to sign a petition, which would forbid the glorious rulers of Camelot from getting any say in the matter of the Town Square Clock Tower. That way, every Citizens Help Protect the Town Square Clock Tower from Annoying, Mean, Monument-Destroying, and Dragon Butt-Like Rulers of the Glorious Kingdom of Camelot Day, all the leaders could do was stand by and watch their subjects protest and not be able to set fire to them all… Um, I mean stop them from going against their holy reign and help them regain their senses by… whatever… means… necessary… Either way, the kingdom would be in chaos, which meant that Morgana and her equally evil half-sister, Morgause, could take control, and then, the kingdom would be theirs and…Yeah…it's a long shot. But, Morgana promised herself she would come up with a better plan as time progressed.

Meanwhile, Prince Arthur was coming up with an ingenious plan as to what he was going to do about the clock tower…well, sort of.

"Help me, for God's Sake, Merlin! I NEED ideas!" the Prince wailed. "Well, you're the amazing,_** brilliant**_ 'Blonde Hope of Camelot'. This isn't my problem, nor is it my decision to make! You should learn to help yourself once and a while, _**my lord**_," retorted the servant crossly.

Arthur didn't speak for a minute or two, he just stood there, open-mouthed, and not sure he had heard correctly. Merlin NEVER spoke to him like this. EVER.

"Well, now that you've gotten that out of your system," Arthur began calmly, so as not to lose his temper or patience, which was running a bit thin, " Would you care to shut your mouth and tell me what I should do about this perplexing Clock Tower Dilemma?" He spoke each word slowly and carefully.

Merlin stood immobile, shocked by both what he had just said and by how calmly Arthur had taken it. Based on his reaction, he could tell the prince was truly troubled by this dilemma, and he felt the tiniest bit sorry for had he'd acted.

"Look, my lord, I'm sorry for yelling like that but, part of being king is making your own decisions and acting based on how you feel about certain subjects."

"Wow, Merlin," started Arthur, "That was…incredibly deep…for an idiot like you." He said jokingly, in a friendly way.

Merlin smiled.

"And it's incredibly hard working for a royal prat like you." He replied.

"So," said Merlin. "What to do about this clock tower dilemma?"

Arthur stood there for a minute, and suddenly, he looked up, his eyes glowing with a mischievous light.

"I think I may have an idea…"


	2. Of Failed Plans and Clean Socks

A/N: Hello! I know, I have been absolutely TERRIBLE! at updating this story! As an 'I'm sorry' to all of my fans…ahem, the ones that haven't left me yet… is the one and ONLY time I'm going to let you throw random objects at me. Go on! Do it! I'm ready! *Gets bowled over by giant bowling ball* Hey, ok, maybe not any rando- *Gets knocked out by barrage of mini Arthur and Merlin figures* Alright, fine. I surrender. Read and enjoy, because- *Gets interrupted*

**Merlin:** Just don't listen to her. Read, enjoy and review! On with the show!

* * *

"Father, I-"

"No."

"But I really need-"

"No."

"But this is very important and I need to-"

"NO! Not now, Arthur, I'm busy!"

Merlin heard a door slam, and Arthur stormed out of the Throne Room, completely defeated, with his trademarked 'Princely Pout' on his face.

Merlin grinned cheekily.

"So how did _your_ plan work out?"

Arthur scowled in Merlin's general direction, and said nothing.

"Can we try my plan now?" Merlin asked hopefully.

"Umm…Please?" he tried again.

Arthur looked up and gave the bold manservant a withering glare. And when he stood straighter and crossed his arms, Merlin knew he was in for a lecture…and most likely extra chores.

"My plan, for your information, _Mer_lin," the prince began, stressing the beginning of Merlin's name. "is working just fine."

Merlin stared incredulously at Arthur. _Fine? Fine? He honestly thinks that went fine? Wow. And he says I'm the idiot. _He tried to break it to Arthur nicely.

"Well, Arthur, umm, you see…."

"Spit it out, Merlin!" he said impatiently, not even bothering to stress the first syllable of the young man's name.

"Well, you may be disappointed, but _I _don't think that went well…clot-pole." Merlin finished, somewhat triumphantly.

"Do you know what _I_ think, _Mer_lin?" a new light began forming in his eyes.

"Ermmm…What?" Merlin asked timidly, his previous bravado having disintegrated due to Arthur's sudden change of mood.

"Go to my Chambers. Start by picking up my room. Then wash my socks. Then polish the floors. And the tables. And the walls. And my boots. Then, and _only_ then, will you muck out the stables." He sighed contentedly. Making Merlin do even more chores always made him feel better.

Merlin ducked his head, preparing himself to make a scene.

"_Ohhhh._ All right." Merlin began pathetically. "I guess you'll just have to _drag _through this _merciless_ dilemma without me. Alone. _Afraid_. Fine. I understand. You don't need me. Just leave me…to my sock cleaning…" He sighed, all-too-dramatically. He began to slowly and pitifully shuffle out of the hall. He decided it couldn't hurt to drag his feet a little, to play up the effect.

All the while, Arthur watched, with a look halfway between complete annoyance and horror on his face. Merlin was almost out of sight, still dragging his feet loudly across the stone floor. His back turned, he grinned form ear-to-ear and suppressed the huge urge to double over laughing, when he heard Arthur's distressed tone.

"_Alright_, I admit it. Your ideas can be…" he cleared his throat. "insightful. Now, just come back and help me, and _don't _make me say it again, or you _will_ be sorry."

Merlin was back at his side in an instant, as if nothing had happened.

"Oh, alright, if you say so… I guess I could maybe spare some of my precious sock-washing time…" he stopped, looking up at Arthur.

Right as the prince promptly collapsed to the ground.

_Well_, Merlin thought, supporting his friend back to his room, _I guess complementing me was just too much for him…_

* * *

A/N: Wow. Well? I LOVED that Chapter and I really think you shoul-

**Merlin:** Well, I really am quite the actor aren't I? Be on the look out for Chapter 3! Remember to revieeewww! *Signs off*

^_^ -CandySmile-


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